I, literally, just laughed out loud.
Though these days are, albeit, far better days, there’s something to be said for being able to grocery shop without an entourage of little people. Which is why I’m on the Jesus Feeds 5000 Grocery Shopping Plan (i.e. I only shop once a month and PRAY it lasts and lasts and lasts until the next month). I’d say I’m fairly successful, with the occasional run for must-haves, like Sunday morning donuts or a package of diapers. I can never predict how many of those we will need a month. The donuts and the diapers.
List-making is a lost art. I meal-plan on the fly and cross my fingers that I’ve picked up the correct ingredients or have something easily substitutable on hand. When I don’t, cereal is always a nutritious option.
And the budget. $50. Is that even possible anymore?! Granted I’m shopping for a family of five (baby counts…he makes me very, very hungry), I have one in (A LOT) of diapers, and inflation. The economy is always good for driving up the grocery bill.
But, back to the issue at hand: SHOPPING WITH CHILDREN.
I decided I would attempt to photo-document some of our shopping experiences for your viewing pleasure.
Here we go. Everyone is together. Faith has a bow in her hair and Becks is still within arms reach. All is well.
Walking next to the cart has already become taxing on his 6-year-old legs as we enter the produce section (immediately inside the doors), so now Becks is hitching a ride, and I’m trying to navigate the Titanic without hitting the iceberg [lettuce].
What’s that? A sample? You know how this goes: Moooooooom, can I please have one?! (A note on samples: I will only let him have one if I can see who is preparing it WEARING GLOVES, and it’s not in a covered display where 1000x people have put their germy fingers. GROSS.) Also, Faith is now playing with my keys. This is an important part of our story, so remember those keys. We’ve been in the store roughly 5-7 minutes at this point.
The sample was for strawberry shortcake. Even mama was in on this one. Faith wasn’t a fan.
Best idea Kroger has had in awhile: grab & go deli meats and cheeses. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got time to wait in line at the counter these days.
Not the best pic, but now you can see Becks is driving, Faith has since lost her bow, and the only reason we’re standing at the seafood counter is so Becks can see the lobsters. The Kroger employee thinks I’m nuts. Hiiiiii, just checking out your lobster selection. Thanks!
Crucial part of the trip: I take a picture of my keys that Faith has thrown on the floor in the frozen food section.
Faith is over it. Me, too, sister. Me, too.
Here I am losing my children. Becks has decided that pulling the cart backwards outweighs his interest in my selection of Cool Whip.
I don’t even know how or why we ended up in the clothing section of Kroger, but Becks is attempting to convince me he needs a green shirt for some reason. Negative, buddy.
The checkout process was much too intense to take pictures, but it was right as I was about to walk out the door that I realized I’D LOST MY KEYS. And, honestly, I’m fairly certain that after I took the above picture of the keys on the floor, that I actually just left them there.
Which is why I do not advocate taking pictures while you grocery shop with your children. #fail
Thankfully, some sweet person chose not to steal the Odyssey and returned my keys to the service desk. Which is a darn good thing because LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE. Groceries, stroller, and my spare carseat because…well…Faith’s condition requires an entire carseat change on occasion. #poop
So, there you have it. The comedy of shopping with children.
And I only managed to spend a quadzillion dollars.
Happy Tuesday!
